Tackling Oblivion - Random Post #1

What is my biggest fear? 

A topic that, out of nowhere, floods my thoughts from time to time is the idea of death. It has always been an unfathomable idea because when I think about life, it is incomprehensible how someone with experiences, networks, family, ideas, imaginations, hopes, and dreams can just ... vanish. However, when I think about it more, I realize that it is not the idea of death that scares me. It’s the idea of instant lack of existence; oblivion. 

At the foundation of my life, especially after this revelation, I have geared (or attempted to) my life towards impact. This does not mean influencing the masses and garnering support from thousands of people. It is my everyday life’s more incremental, subtle, and small consistencies. I realize that through acts of self-improvement, documentation, and actively being present in situations for others can amass to levels of trust and create everlasting bonds with people. 


When looking long term, I want to continue progressing incrementally and be able to touch the lives of many others as I grow. For some people, this can be political, for others it can be through art, and for some, it can be through religion. I am on the quest to find how I can impact and uplift others through something that brings me true passion from within. Right now, I see myself doing this through women empowerment and poverty alleviation business projects in developing countries - but how that will happen or start is an adventure waiting to happen. 


A contrasting thought I have to this is; are my motivations permissible? Or is this a selfish act where I only act on the interest of others for my internal gratification of myself? Honestly, I cannot deny anyone as a human being always has selfish motivations. Still, consistency and self-reflection make it apparent when someone is acting to genuinely help others while they themselves are fueled with passion and satisfaction. 


Everyone is blessed and should make it a mission to give back and contribute in any capacity possible. I do feel that to a certain extent, this was my calling and it feels like something I was meant to do - help others and influence. So, back to this idea of death. I think if one can feel fulfilled, explore a multitude of interests, and touch the lives of even just one person, their story can live on within the myriad of other humans that come through this life.


Comments

  1. Alexis 340February 26, 2023 at 11:28 PM

    Hi Christine, I found your post very interesting. Although I don't think about it frequently, I have stayed up thinking about life and death. There has been billions of humans that lived a complete life before me and aren't around anymore. But I don't see myself being one of those people. I just want to live and enjoy the everyday beauty of life.

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